This article, which is written by Jill Gilbert, originally appeared as “Grieving Takes its Course” in McKnight’s Long Term Care News June 2008 edition. For this month, we will continue our discussion with Joyce Ebmeier of Tabitha Health Care Services. A 25-year veteran of the nursing home industry, Ebmeier talked about the great social benefits of the Green House and a phenomenon she calls the “Green House Creep,” which explains how the model of senior care is leading to positive change at Tabitha’s 205-bed traditional nursing home, affectionately known as “the mothership.”

Mary’s story

To all others, the social benefits of a Green House is undeniable. Living in a smaller community which is operating under its own set of rules makes for a happy household. When Mary, who was one of the first elders to move into the Green House, celebrated her 101st birthday, the staff asked her what she wanted. Ebmeier sounds wistful when she recalls, “Mary and her daughter sitting on the porch enjoying a margarita and a cigarette.” This year, on her birthday, everyone gathers on the porch and had margaritas to honor her memory.

b. Community before business.

It always is painful to lose someone you love, but Ebmeier says in the Green House it is “that intense and more. [Death] impacts the dynamics acutely.” After the first death in the Green House, Tabitha staff acted to fill the spot. The senior care residents and staff of the Green House pushed back, saying they “had not grieved enough yet” they needed more time.

Tabitha’s administration agreed, writing a policy for the Green House, outlining the steps to be taken when an elder died, in order to allow time for everyone to grieve properly. Collaborative change. Tabitha’s administration worked with the community to develop guidelines and a timeframe that worked. Ebmeier describes the policy as “an opportunity to honor that member of the household.” After the initial grieving period, staff members and residents will welcome the newest member to the Green House. The outcome has had a profound effect on the mothership as well. Its staff and residents quickly developed their own policy so that they, too, could grieve for neighbors and friends who had died.